Something magic happened: the whole company flinched at the hat instead! Seriously, people were scared of the hat, but could separate that from the people wearing it.
Weird psychological hack, but it worked. I suggest something similar for everyone's incident procedures.
Du bist manchmal doch nicht am besten
wenns dir eigentlich vielleicht doch nicht egal ist
frei nach Die Ärzte
I got off a phone call with my mom, and proceeded to dial 911 just by typing and calling on my pixel. My phone got stuck immediately after one ring and I was unable to do anything other than click through apps with an emergency phone call running in the background. This is all while the phone informed me that it had sent my location to emergency services. Sadly I couldn't tell the person on the other end what apartment I was in, or what the actual emergency was as I was unable to speak to a human.
We determined that the issue was being caused by unintended interaction between the Microsoft Teams app and the underlying Android operating system.